Petition to TVUSD regarding School Dance Regulations

rubberband September 11, 2013 at 05:12 PM
^THIS young woman should run for something...."Today's youth" INDEED......There are smart, heads up young people EVERYWHERE. Ms. Ashley Lane Vensel is a wonderful example of this....I think we all gonna survive the "Twerky thrusting events" of when/where ever...and to those who have had a very negative experience @ a dance and it constituted a sexual assault, please tell someone and find training to protect yourself...It's worth it. (Get actual hand-to-hand combat assault survival training, do not put all your confidence in pepper spray etc.) THREAD DEATH CALLED AT LIKE....NOW.
John Smith September 12, 2013 at 03:18 PM
Ashley well said! Thank you. My sentiments EXACTLY. Your parents and you should be proud. Very articulate, out spoken young adult standing up and voicing a sound position.
southernbelle September 17, 2013 at 11:20 AM
i just read the comments on the other board. that person wasn't saying girls are forced to grind back, they were saying a boy came up behind her daughter. they also said she told him no just like ashley and the other posters said. what they were pointing out is that their daughter didn't like that happening and felt "violated" because a boy was thinking he had the right to just do that. i actually agree with the daughter. it would be a violation to a girl if a boy she didn't know or want came up behind and started grinding on her, why do so many people think it's not? i am surprised so many people attacked that person and told them to teach the daughter to fend for herself because it sounded to me like thats what she did. Ashley said, "if a boy started grinding *more* than what i wanted" she told him no. sounds like the difference is ashley was already dancing with the boys and okay with a little grinding but not when they took it too far but the other girl didn't know the boy that came up behind her. thats a big difference. plus that video was taken at some school named "shepherd school" so it sounds like a religious school. i wonder what a public school dance looks like. i don't think it was that bad, but i did see one kid in the background thrusting himself at his girl. i wouldn't want that to be my daughter. just sayin and whats the big deal if the kids are told at a dance to just keep things civil and not so sexual? why is everyone so mad about this? and about footloose--the point was that kids wanting to dance and have fun is okay, not that sexual dancing should be allowed. whats the big deal about asking the kids to just keep it mellow as far as the grinding goes? are you all saying kids cant have fun just dancing free style--teenagers dance and have fun at weddings and other dance events all the time without grinding up on each other. i personally don't see the big deal that all of you are making.
That Temecula Guy September 18, 2013 at 08:31 PM
Ashley... "...grinding more than what I wanted..." The validity of your argument ended there. It isn't appropriate behavior at a school and you know it. Values used to mean something in the U.S., but this feel-good generation of socialists allows this garbage in moderation. Isn't it time to take a stand yet?
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 09:50 AM
She didn't say it was appropriate. She said there are supervisors every 20 feet who stop the behavior.
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 10:40 AM
No, she said she could go to one to stop the behavior, presumably if she wanted to. It is self evident that the notion of being appropriate is lost on these kids, but thanks for pointing that out.
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 12:28 PM
No, she also stated "because those campus supervisors were the first ones tapping kids on the shoulder or shining fashlights at kids that were doing inappropriate things." The notion of being appropriate is lost on these kids...as it was in the 50's, 60's, 70's, etc. You state "it isn't appropriate behavior and you know it." As stated she isn't condoning or stating it was appropriate.
Lorena Carrillo, Sr. Escrow Officer September 19, 2013 at 01:01 PM
Honestly parents...we were all young once. I loved dancing and probably looked like a bad girl, but I was a virgin when I got married. I believe that discipline begins in the home. These teachers, chaperone's cannot control a bunch of kids. I have a 9th grader and she is like all girls, beautiful. I am strict and she will be going to Homecoming. I have taught her and she knows the rights and wrongs. If she is not comfortable with someone grinding on her, she will step away. She also wants a dress that will not attract the wrong attention. DONT allow your girls to dress like street walkers! Don't let them go to the dances. Kids will only go as far as they want. Teach your kids at home and stop trying to place YOUR responsibility on the teachers and everyone else. Let them have fun and what I would recommend is becoming more involved! Maybe your kid is only telling you, just in case you find out. Don't be so judgmental. Don't take away your kids high school years!
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 01:08 PM
I suppose we could go back and forth quoting her quasi-defense of these dances, but it really boils down to perspective. If you are a parent and are ok with this behavior, let your kids participate. If you aren't ok with it, you seem to be in the minority, but stand strong. Smith, you seem to think I'm arguing if she said it was appropriate or not. Her position speaks for itself. She seems to think a little of this behavior is ok, and a lot is ok if the individual deems it to be. How about the kids next to her? Why should they be subjected to this I'll behavior? How much grinding and sexual displays is too much for Ashley? This is animalistic behavior. Is it not the parents and chaperone's place to set the example, to let the kids know they need to behave like people instead of some horny apes on Wild Kingdom? Just because some people thought inappropriate behavior was ok in the 50's, 60's, and 70's doesn't mean it's ok today. If you want to be lumped into that crowd, that's your choice. Why try to defend something so wrong?
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 01:09 PM
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 01:21 PM
Lorena Thank you! My point is, if you don't like how the dances are being chaperoned, and you think it's inappropriate ...go chaperone the dance or keep your child at home. YOU were arguing that Ashley was saying it was appropriate behavior and I was addressing that. You think it's animalistic ... I think there are more important issues in our schools than school dances that are already chaperoned that need to be addressed and your welcome :).
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 01:28 PM
More important issues than our children's behavior? I think not. It starts small. Either way, the petition has more than enough signatures now and it is moving forward. As I said before, her position is self evident. She didn't need to say she was for or against such behavior; she already acknowledged it was ok by level of degrees.
Lorena Carrillo, Sr. Escrow Officer September 19, 2013 at 01:30 PM
For the record...I was born in 1968. First of all my daughter has never been grinded on or my son do the grinding. Although my kids may be exposed to it...they do not participate nor are they with the crowd that does. Maybe some kids are not mature to be without their parents, so I say get involved. Be a chaperone. My son did not want to go to Homecoming because of this whole grinding thing and how everyone is talking about it. I don't want my son to miss out. Teach your kids right from wrong. I will defend my kids and those that would miss out. You would be surprise how many parents are for dances. Try sitting in the parking lot after a dance. People need to begin pie making with their free time! Sorry I am extremely passionate about dancing.
Lorena Carrillo, Sr. Escrow Officer September 19, 2013 at 01:38 PM
Mr. Smith, I was not speaking to Ashley...once again assumptions. I was actually giving my opinion based on comments left at the beginning of the month. I just read Ashley's and I agree with her, but have formed my opinion! So, when is this going to the board?
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 02:06 PM
Lorena, I wasn't responding to you except to say thank you and that I AGREE with your position. I was standing up for Ashley who the Temecula Guy was attacking. Temecula Guy, the petition is a waste of time and space. It is not going to change a thing. The few children who try to push the limits will be stopped as they always are and the children who are having fun and dancing and experiencing some funs times with their friends and dates will continue to do so.
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 02:10 PM
Here are the rules ...Temecula Guy :Inappropriate dancing will result in removal from dance after only one warning. No refunds will be provided if you are removed from the dance for inappropriate conduct. Inappropriate conduct is determined by site administration supervising the event. There is your great Petition....good luck.
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 02:17 PM
It wasn't a waste of time or space for over 500 people. Wait wait wait... standing up for Ashley? She has boundaries, remember? She'll let you know how much of this she wants. A little is ok. She's ok with a little as long as she doesn't feel too uncomfortable with someone rubbing their clothed genitals on her for too long. According to her.
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 03:00 PM
You're out of line and incorrect. Again, A WASTE OF TIME with 500 ridiculous people wasting space and air. You're Welcome Again. It won't change a thing. Bad kids will push the limits as they always do. Leave Ashley alone and stop fantasizing about kids rubbing clothed genitals on others.
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 03:25 PM
What a bizarre reply. 500+ people so far, with more incoming. It's interesting that you say I'm out of line and am fantasizing; "grinding" is, in fact, the act of males rubbing their genitals against the buttocks of females mimicking sexual motions from behind. There is no fantasizing there. Ashley said herself that she allows the act. Thank you again for proving my point. You have finally admitted that you feel these are "bad kids." It's time to reign them in. I disagree that you choose to think of them as bad kids; they are misguided, and make bad choices, but I'm sure they're ok kids.
southernbelle September 19, 2013 at 05:13 PM
@temeculaguy, I read Ashley's reply as you did. She is saying its shes fine grinding at her tolerance level. But the problem is every girl's tolerance level is different. It seems to range from "go ahead and have at me because this is FUN" to "DONT you dare come up behind me and assume I want you grinding on me." At least that seemed like the argument on the other board. Most like it and don't care, and neither do most parents seem to care, hence all this arguing. Also, if you look at other boards you'll see that John Smith is just an argumentative person who resorts to name calling, insults, and tactless and immature blows. I have no respect for that person's view after seeing him on different boards. I'm sure I'll be next victim. But there's just no sense trying to talk sense into the senseless. Anyway, I don't get what the big deal is over asking kids not to grind? Or why are all these PARENTS are so adamant about fighting against this petition that tells them not to do this "one, specific" behavior? It's sad that parents are so scared to parent these days? Why would anyone with any morals or values be okay with their kid grinding with another kid and even go as far as defending the behavior and claiming it "FUN?" No one is trying to take the dances away, or stop anyone's kid from " dancing!" Why are some saying that the kids who just want to DANCE at the dance and not grind should be the ones to not attend, isn't that backward thinking? I'm so concerned for this future generation being raised on very little to no morals, values, virtues, or decent character.
southernbelle September 19, 2013 at 05:19 PM
Ps- I'm glad enough people in our community are willing to stand behind a petition that asks to ban this one, specific behavior from school dances. Maybe now the kids can have more than one dance a year.
Steve Newman September 19, 2013 at 05:21 PM
Grinding could be considered sexual assault.
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 05:53 PM
You can call me argumentative but the fact of the matter is as stated above :Inappropriate dancing will result in removal from dance after only one warning. No refunds will be provided if you are removed from the dance for inappropriate conduct. Inappropriate conduct is determined by site administration supervising the event. End of story. What is so hard for you to understand???????? Temecula Guy, don't even try it. You are attacking a young lady and insinuating things you know nothing about. Now you state they are just "misguided" . You can't seem to make up your mind....low morals, grinding genitals...misguided...which is it??? As I have stated from the beginning.....there are WAY BIGGER problems in our schools than this silly, going nowhere petition. Please enlighten me on what is going to change with the petition? Rewording of the rules that are already in place???
question mark? September 19, 2013 at 06:59 PM
I agree. What is a Petition going to do? Maybe we should petition for more cops and more teachers with better pay. Parent's need to parent. It is not the schools responsibility. Send the offenders home just as the rules state.
That Temecula Guy September 19, 2013 at 08:06 PM
Did either of you actually read the petition? If you did, you wouldn't be asking what it would change. John/Jennifer Smith, misguided kids, and apparently adults, participate and condone the things you listed. You seem frustrated JS. You said yourself these are "bad kids" but you still support rules that obviously haven't worked. Instead of offering a solution, or an attempt at one, you throw your hands up and say, "Let's keep it the same! They're going to do it anyway!" More from this feel-good generation of friend-parents instead of parents. Read the petition.
John Smith September 19, 2013 at 09:12 PM
I have read it, it's ridiculous. Trust me, your little petition in not going to stop some kids from pushing the limits. I don't throw my hands up, I'm just living in the real world. Get over it already. You attempt to push buttons to no avail. This is Jennifer by the way, as if it matters what my name is. Now I'm frustrated??? A jerk, argumentative... Okay whatever. I just stand up to people who preach their beliefs and have never actually attended a dance here in Temecula. We have parents who have stated they chaperoned and saw this behavior but turned a blind eye. Really? Maybe instead of a Petition we give the chaperones a class on how to speak up and enforce the rules that are ALL READY IN PLACE.
Alek J Hidell September 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM
I didn't get none in High School so Murrieta's kids shouldn't either. I strongly urge the adoption of mandatory square dancing and church-related activities.
southernbelle September 19, 2013 at 11:54 PM
Lorena and question mark: how is this petition an assignment to force teachers and chaperones to "parent" these kids? This petition is to make known, instill, and enforce a rule. Every thing that takes place at school is the responsibility of school staff and parents who volunteer. Also, FORCE beliefs? What beliefs, that rubbing against each others private parts under the age of 18 should not be allowed on school property?
southernbelle September 19, 2013 at 11:57 PM
There's not much more that can be said. Either you're okay with this going in and will fight the petition or you're not and will support it. I will support it. Good bye.
John Smith September 20, 2013 at 12:58 PM
I am not gonna fight it! Who would. I just think it's a waste of time and it's stupid. There are 500 concerned parents going crazy over a prom video of kids dancing, laughing and having fun. No one is in distress. No one was being attacked. No one was being violated. That's it. Next week is homecoming and now I am taking my teenage daughter shopping for her dress. She is excited and her friends are excited and I am happy for her. She not frightened of being violated at the dance. No one is, except the 500 people who signed a silly petition.


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