Marine, Mother of 5 Deals With Deployment

Staff Sgt. Maribel Valdez lives a double life. In one, she is the loving wife and mother of five children in Temecula, and in the other, she is a hardened soldier with the First Marine Division Forward.

This is a balancing act that’s more difficult now that she’s deployed, she said during an interview at Camp Leatherneck, Afghanistan.

“It’s very hard, I’m not going to say it’s easy,” Valdez said as she straight with dark eyes, her M-9 pistol holstered tight to her uniform and pictures of her family on the board behind her. “I think it’s harder being a mom, it’s hard to know that a big part of your life is not here with you.”

She has five children: Breanna, 12; Jose, 10; Issac, 9; Jason, 5; and Jacob, 4, and it’s hard for her younger children to understand why she can’t be home, she said. No matter how you tell them you are working, they don’t understand,” she said. “To them it’s mommy’s gone or mommy left me.”

Valdez prepared her family as best she could before she deployed. She explained to them why she had to leave and how her job as an adjutant helps Marines.

“I explained to my (children) that my purpose was to make sure that everyone that was doing great things were being recognized for it,” Valdez said.

Mother’s Day came and went much like any other day for Valdez, with the exception of a few well wishes via email. She woke up and went to work like she does every Sunday.

“Mother’s Day was just a typical day until night when I got to talk to (the kids),” Valdez said.

Afghanistan is 12 hours and 30 minutes ahead of Temecula, so when Valdez called her family, Mother’s Day for her was almost over.

It was bittersweet for Valdez. Her children wished her a Happy Mother’s Day, but also expressed how much they missed her and wished she were home.

“It was heartbreaking because it was the first time my (children) said ‘Mom, you left me,’ or, ‘I’m lonely,’” Valdez said. “It’s hard to comfort them over the phone, knowing I can’t hug them to make them feel better.”

The pain of not being able to be there for her children is difficult for Valdez, a proud Marine and even prouder parent. “When they hurt, you hurt. When they’re happy, you’re happy,” Valdez explained.

When she married her husband, Jose, a former Marine, he had three children from a previous marriage, forcing her to learn quickly how to be a mother.

“It was like instant family when I got married, just add water and all of a sudden, you have children,” Valdez explained.

Being a mother was difficult and stressful, but it has made her a better person and a better Marine. She wouldn’t change it for the world.

Valdez learned to take care of her junior Marines by being a mother, and it shows. “I commonly refer to her as ‘Momma Valdez’ because she’s like the mom of the office,” said Staff Sgt. Andre Smith, the adjutant chief with First Marine Division Forward.

"Momma Valdez" earned her nickname by being an understanding and caring staff noncommissioned officer, but also being able to give Marines what Smith refers to as, "the eye."

“Somebody does something wrong, and she gives them an eye, like you know you messed up,” Smith explained.

Valdez learned the look from having four boys and one preteen daughter in the house. She also learned to be more understanding when people make mistakes, a valuable lesson for any mom.

With Mother’s Day fresh in her mind and a recent package delivered with a DVD filled with music and photos of her family, Valdez can’t help but think of what it’ll be like when she returns home.

“I want to spend more time with them, do more of that family bonding,” Valdez said.

She plans to take her children to amusement parks, Washington D.C. and national parks.

“There are certain things that I think my children need to experience, like traveling,” Valdez said.

She knows it’s difficult for her family while she’s deployed, and she will be happy to return home to them. After being deployed for months, she knows just what she’ll do.

“The first thing I’m going to do is hug them because I miss that feeling,” said Valdez with a smile.

-- By Marine Cpl. Timothy Lenzo