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We the Republicans of the United States ...

A satirical view of Republican political positions, in answer to the President's State of the Union speech.

Whatever it takes, we the Republicans pledge to bring down the government before we will adopt or compromise on any of the President’s plans to help the economy in the next four years. The giveaways the President proposed in his State of the Union speech are preposterous!

We will not close tax loopholes that benefit the rich—in spite of the President’s offer to allow substantial cuts to Medicare. Our tax system allows us to hide as much money as we like offshore—it’s only good business. However, this habit of the President’s to preserve tax cuts for everybody but the rich has to stop. We will not budge on budget issues, regardless of the catastrophic economic consequences of allowing the “sequester” to proceed (the spending cuts due to take effect on March 1.)

We favor protecting the border, but no easy path to citizenship for illegal aliens! We will not stop threatening to shut down the government—we need that to get our way!

As for gun control, forget it—how would we ever win a primary in a red state? Help pass a cap-and-trade bill to curb global warming—is he kidding? There is no such thing as global warming; it’s a rumor started by left-wing scientists and atheists, the same crowd that thinks the world is round.

We will not spend money to ensure universal access to pre-school.

We can’t afford vocational training.

Create a tax credit for hiring the long-term unemployed? That will cost money, and they tend to vote for Democrats anyway. We certainly will not increase the minimum wage. Raising the federal minimum wage from $7.25 to $9.00 an hour will cost jobs—forget the 20 states that already pay more than that. It will boost the economy, says the President, but how can you afford to run a business? At that rate, half the country will be on the dole—just what Obama wants.

Did he say “equal pay for women”? What will he think of next?

Incredibly, the public debt has grown to 58.6 trillion “dimes.” How much is that in dollars? Makes no difference. “Dimes” sounds better—as in, we will help the rich to keep every dime they make!

ObamaCare? How sick is that! We will make every effort to end welfare in America—those programs, at least, that help the poor and middle class. We owe that to ourselves.

Before we do anything for anybody, we have to eliminate the national debt and fund the military. Then, maybe we can repair roads and bridges and think about pre-schooling the poor. First, we need austerity, not more of Obama’s stimulus nonsense. Just ask Greece and... well, better wait and see what happens in Europe.

I read recently, “To live and work in America, in order to enjoy the benefits, you must be prepared to pay your fare share of the costs.” The article was talking about taxes; the author, obviously, is a flaming liberal.

Jac Flanders is the author of What I Learned On The Way Down” - eBook and paperback versions available from Amazon.com.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Duke of the foothills March 01, 2013 at 01:43 AM
Duke of the foothills March 01, 2013 at 01:48 AM
Jac, I did look recently. This is what "my" President said... http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2012/07/14/president-obama-if-youve-got-a-business-you-didnt-build-that-somebody-else-made-that-happen/
tiny March 01, 2013 at 03:25 AM
right/left matrix: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIwPQ4svqjE
Status Quo March 01, 2013 at 05:51 AM
Now 'Just Us'... Weeks ago, 'Jac' made great pains to instruct his respondents that this is 'his blog', each time he shares his sycophantic musings within his ideology... this time, revamped into the label of 'satire'. The tag-line for this article stated, in reference 'Jac'... "Writer/Author/Photographer" "A satirical view of Republican political positions, in answer to the President's State of the Union speech."... this alone, negates the need to address or "challenge the assertions of the blog", especially when the first line of the satire is based in obvious lie. Uh oh! the tag line says it is 'satire' rather than his sniping against his foes. "bring down the government"??? I think the left, has that corner nailed down 'fairly' tight and find satire is convoluted to utilize... considering the Constitutional crisis that is being created by the 'change' he ('Jac') apparently believes in. 'Jac's equally apparent need to control - hiding in satire, then entreating intelligent conversation while castigating his opponents is rolled in his judgements. I am glad, he does not seriously care, as it makes the pointless nonsense more palatable to read. I'm just ecstatic! 'Jac' is now calling his recurring righteous indignant view - satire.
Duke of the foothills March 01, 2013 at 02:43 PM


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