In Loving Memory of Freddie

Between Steve Jobs, Andy Rooney, Heavy D and many other notables, it feels like recently there have been so many losses. I believe there is the same number of losses as any other day, time or season. Funny though, when it is someone that we know or know of it causes us to pause. I paused early Sunday morning.

His name is Freddie. No, he never created a device that millions of people around the world use daily. No, he did not cleverly speak about common items in front of millions of people. No, he did not impact the rap world.

What Freddie did do was color and shape my world. I introduce and share with you, Freddie.

He had coke bottled glasses and looked at least 20 years older than his chronolgical age. Granted, this is in a 12 year old mind. He wore a pocket protector. Chain smoked. Nothing about him physically would say, "now he's a winner, a keeper."

None the less, this man, Freddie, was the father I wish had been my father. Not taking anything away from my dad.... Freddie stood in the gap.

He bought my first car, paid me allowance and allowed me to double it due to my compelling argument regarding inflation. Funniest part about that is my sister, Janet, had no idea of our "raise" for about a month.

He's the one I reviewed my report card with. Even when I would get an A, he would tell me I could do better. He'd say, "you're so smart baby girl, you should be getting G's."

As we prepare for his memorial service, I hope that I am able to share these stories and more about the man that restored my faith in men.

Was Freddie perfect? Absolutely not. What he was best at was being just great enough that it lessened the pain of my dad no-showing on our scheduled visits.

He was just great enough that my heart didn't become hardened. Just great enough that I felt valued and cherished, thus not looking for other men to give me that. Just great enough that I will miss him being in this earth sharing space with me.

Freddie was never married to my mom. Heck, I'm not even sure if they dated. My mother wasn't trying to be my friend and share that with me. As a matter of fact, if I allowed my inquisitiveness to get the better of me, she would simply admonish me to stay out of grown folks' business. Of which, to this day, I quickly comply.

So, do I refer to him as stepdad? Dad? Surrogate dad? Real dad? Neither. He is Freddie! He was great enough to be referred to as Freddie.