My Morning Epiphany: Listen To Hear

You've seen it, perhaps you've even done it! No judgment. Like Maya Angelou says, when you know better...do better. I used to do it often. Now thanks to awareness the times that I feel the need or desire to think of a defense while someone is sharing are few and far between. It's taken a lot of practice!!!! Especially because by nature I am a Chatty-Jacqui.

When someone is sharing I allot myself a few seconds to process what they have said. I guess it is social conditioning that people aren't comfortable (or familiar) with silence. Invariably they will ask if I'm still there if we are on the phone or am I listening if I am in their presence? I simply share that I am processing what they are expressing. Now that I share this with you I must admit that it's an odd feeling to have someone (different people) question me as I am respecting their expressed feelings.

I witness such unnecessary disagreements because both parties put their need to say above hearing what the other person is saying. Resolution in these instances is darn near impossible. Volumes escalate, insults are hurled, feelings are hurt and self images can be destroyed. Keep in mind the people closest to you can do the most damage because they are closest to you. Whether they are a family member, friend, local merchant that you visit regularly, boss, employee listening to hear is extremely important.

My Morning Epiphany:

When you are in a conversation do you listen to hear or listen to say? You know, amping up your inner argument or defense while the person is speaking. Listening to hear creates intimacy (in-to-me-see). One of the age old complaints in relationships is not being heard. Well, you can’t hear what someone is saying if you are listening to say. Next time you’re in a conversation ask yourself,  Am I listening to hear or listening to say?

Your neighbor,

Jacqui:~)

P.S. You can find me on twitter: https://twitter.com/ltujacquidobens Follow me and I'll follow you!